One of my favourite TED talks is one called “How to speak so that people want to listen” by Julian Moore. Obviously, people do want to listen to him considering its been watched almost 17 million times! He starts by talking about things which we should always avoid when speaking – things like gossip, negativity and excuses. He lists 7 such things which he terms as the “7 deadly sins of speaking”. Nicely done. But what he does next is even more interesting – to convert these ‘negative’ traits into a framework which allows us to look at this in a positive way. I think there is a learning for all of us in just this reframing – it would help to keep that in mind in all our interactions in order to build better relationships.
So, what does this framework look like? He lists 4 cornerstones which we can stand on which can make our speech more impactful. They spell a word and the word is HAIL. H for Honesty, A for Authenticity, I for Integrity and L for Love. So simple and yet so powerful. To be clear and straight, to be ourselves, to be our word and wishing others well.
I would argue that HAIL goes well beyond speech characteristics and ultimately goes to the core of what leadership and EQ is about. These traits help create trust which in turn builds a culture of empathy with mutual understanding and respect. And if I have to pick one of those four traits, my favourite is Love. People are willing to be led by someone only if they believe their leader is their well-wisher and has their best interest in mind. As Roosevelt once said “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”.